✞ sarcastic pansexual jokes ✞

thewaywardqueen:

eyeglance:

Your Body Is Beautiful And You Are A G o d d e s s 

i absolutely adore this but aren’t skinny girls in there? some girls have a high metabolism and they stay relly skinny even if they eat a ton. are they not beautiful?

image

imnotcrazyimawkward:

dangervvank:

"what music are you into?"
"i like this! it’s very grown up…"

Pleas watch this

Nicki Minaj speaking on why she hired Vlogger Beat Face Honey as her personal makeup artist

gravlites:

This took a long frigging time to finish. Fuyukai desu. 

gravlites:

This took a long frigging time to finish. Fuyukai desu. 

burgrs:

how dare u ignore me after ive made 0 attempts at talking to u

Satellite High - The Bus Is Late
537,697 plays

nearly-headless-horseman:

must-be-a-thursday:

First time listening:

Second time listening:

image

Third time listening:

WAITING FOR THE BUS TOOK A PICTURE OF ANOTHER BUS WAITING FOR THE BUS IN THE RAIN I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE BUS AS THE SUN CAME UP BUT THE SUN AIN’T OUT NO MORE CAUSE IT’S GREY WAITING FOR THE BUS THERE’S A GREY ONE BLUE ONE A RED ONE ALL OF THEM TURNED AWAY I’VE BEEN WAITING FOR THE BUS GOTTA CATCH A BUS GOTTA WATCH NEWS GOTTA REGIMENT A PLAN FOR THE DAY

BUS

image

This beat is so sick, it never falters, even thru all of the transitions omg what is this alien beauty?

rnaryjune:

Dalek//Into The Dalek

DON’T EVEN TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW.

heckayeah:

american sex ed

shadow-walk:

Queen of Hearts coordinate for comic con :)

Outfit Rundown

  • Dress, blouse, OTKs: AatP
  • Necklace: Moitie
  • Bag: VW
  • Head piece: handmade by reafre
majored-in-not-dancing:

nerdytransgirl:

undeadthug:

where do grandmas and aunties even buy this shit? It’s not in stores???do they have a dealer who sells to them???? 

OK, IM GONNA LET YOU LITTLE SHITS ON A LITTLE SECRET. YOU CAN GET THOSE CANDIES HERE. BUT THATS NOT ALL!!! THIS FUCKING WEBSITE HAS ALL YOUR FUCKING CANDY NEEDS AND THEN SOME!!!!
NEED SIX POINT SIX POUNDS OF SOUR RAINBOW BELTS???

BAM!!!
ALL FOR UNDER FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS!!!! BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO WASH ALL OF THEM DOWN? THERE OBVIOUSLY ISNT ENOUGH SUGAR IN THESE BELTS SO LETS WASH THEM DOWN WITH THIS:

THATS RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER! THIRTY TWO GODDAMMED OUNCES OF SWEET, SWEET POWDERED STRAWBERRY FLAVOR!!! BUT LET’S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY WITH ALL THIS BECASUE WE’RE GOING TO GRANDMAS, WE’D BETTER GET SOME SHIT FOR HER. AND WHAT BETTER THING TO GET FOR HER THAN SOME SUGAR DADDIES???

THATS RIGHT, THATS 24 SUGAR DADDIES FOR GRAM GRAM. BUT, UH-OH!! LOOKS LIKE WE SPILLED UNCLE H’S BLUE ROCK CANDY ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! WHERE ELSE CAN WE GET 5 POUNDS OF PURE BLUE ROCK CANDY??? RIGHT FUCKING HERE!!!

THIS FUCKING WEBSITE IS SO FUCKING SWEET, IT GIVES YOU DIABETUS JUST BY LOOKING AT IT. NOW DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO FIND WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU NEED ON THIS SITE BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME AND I HAVENT COME DOWN OFF MY LAST ORDER OF CANDY YET AND THE NEXT IS ALREADY IN THE MAIL SOMEBODY HELP ME IM NOT AN ADULT I CANT MAKE THESE DECISIONS 

OH MY GOD

majored-in-not-dancing:

nerdytransgirl:

undeadthug:

where do grandmas and aunties even buy this shit? It’s not in stores???do they have a dealer who sells to them???? 

OK, IM GONNA LET YOU LITTLE SHITS ON A LITTLE SECRET. YOU CAN GET THOSE CANDIES HERE. BUT THATS NOT ALL!!! THIS FUCKING WEBSITE HAS ALL YOUR FUCKING CANDY NEEDS AND THEN SOME!!!!

NEED SIX POINT SIX POUNDS OF SOUR RAINBOW BELTS???

BAM!!!

ALL FOR UNDER FIFTY FUCKING DOLLARS!!!! BUT HOW ARE WE GOING TO WASH ALL OF THEM DOWN? THERE OBVIOUSLY ISNT ENOUGH SUGAR IN THESE BELTS SO LETS WASH THEM DOWN WITH THIS:

THATS RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER! THIRTY TWO GODDAMMED OUNCES OF SWEET, SWEET POWDERED STRAWBERRY FLAVOR!!! BUT LET’S NOT GET CARRIED AWAY WITH ALL THIS BECASUE WE’RE GOING TO GRANDMAS, WE’D BETTER GET SOME SHIT FOR HER. AND WHAT BETTER THING TO GET FOR HER THAN SOME SUGAR DADDIES???

THATS RIGHT, THATS 24 SUGAR DADDIES FOR GRAM GRAM. BUT, UH-OH!! LOOKS LIKE WE SPILLED UNCLE H’S BLUE ROCK CANDY ALL OVER THE PLACE!!! WHERE ELSE CAN WE GET 5 POUNDS OF PURE BLUE ROCK CANDY??? RIGHT FUCKING HERE!!!

THIS FUCKING WEBSITE IS SO FUCKING SWEET, IT GIVES YOU DIABETUS JUST BY LOOKING AT IT. NOW DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO FIND WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU NEED ON THIS SITE BECAUSE IT IS AWESOME AND I HAVENT COME DOWN OFF MY LAST ORDER OF CANDY YET AND THE NEXT IS ALREADY IN THE MAIL SOMEBODY HELP ME IM NOT AN ADULT I CANT MAKE THESE DECISIONS 

OH MY GOD

sk00ti:

Bioshock Infinite

The lamb of Columbia

The Protagonist of P5