✞ sarcastic pansexual jokes ✞
akitsu-47:

just kiSS ALREADY
repeatedly
it’s not like you need air, just call it breath-holding practice
… is that a fic already or…?

akitsu-47:

just kiSS ALREADY

repeatedly

it’s not like you need air, just call it breath-holding practice

… is that a fic already or…?

My relationship with my followers
Me: ask me anything guys, nothing is off the limits.
Followers:
Me:
Followers:
Me: okay, I'll just reblog some pictures.

wesker-is-hot:

troybakerrr:

You have a dinner date for seven. What time do you arrive?

image

Seven. Am. Case the restaurant. Run background checks on the staff. Can the cook be trusted? If not I gotta kill him. Dispose of the body. Replace him with my own guy no later than 4:30.

                                                                  MEDUSA

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gameofchrons:

parents: "let’s talk about your future" 

image

The XX - Angels
49,657 plays

Light reflects from your shadow

It is more than I thought could exist

You move through the room

Like breathing was easy

bakrua:

hey fun fact did you know that people are allowed to actually change their opinions on something? i know. take your time.

notchicken:

terranullius-andthestolengen:

notchicken:

notchicken:

tupacabra:

i feel bad for twins that aren’t equally attractive

this was me and my twin prom night image

thank you for the text post

another year, another disappointment  

image

Why are you wearing the same clothes??

I haven’t moved in a year

rock-n-rot:

wreck-it newt and hermann death glare gottlieb

 favorite places in rapture

fort frolic

sharpslut:

i wish people had crushes on me 

thatawkwardblondechick:

The tweet that saved the entire female population

thatawkwardblondechick:

The tweet that saved the entire female population

DC: Wonder Woman is too difficult to find a movie audience for-
Marvel: YO YOU LIKE BLACK WIDOW? HERE SHE IS IN THE NEXT CAPTAIN AMERICA MOVIE WITH A TON OF SCREENTIME AND MAJOR ASSKICKING SKILLS
DC: We can't allow the lesbians in Batwoman to get married in the comic, sorry.
Marvel: HEY GUESS WHAT WE'RE GONNA FEATURE A GAY WEDDING ON THE COVER OF AN X-MEN ISSUE
DC: The new direction for storytelling needs to be dark, gritty, mature and cynical.
Marvel: DUDE CHECK IT OUT LOKI GOES SPEED DATING IS THAT NOT THE BEST SHIT EVER
DC: After years of rumors, the Superman/Batman movie is finally coming, but with a new actor and suit for Batman and MAYBE a cameo from Wonder Woman.
Marvel: PHASE 2 MOTHERFUCKERS EVERYONE IS IN EVERYONE'S MOVIE AND THERE AIN'T NO STOPPIN US NOW
DC: We can try to add maybe one or two 'people of color' to our lineup...maybe...
Marvel: NEW MS MARVEL THAT'S MUSLIM AMERICAN, BITCHES.
DC: We feel no problem with Batman's vengeful personality being like wet cardboard.
Marvel: NEW LATINA GHOST RIDER WHO SEEKS VENGEANCE WHILE TAKING HIS AWEET LIL BRO FOR ICE CREAM
DC: We can't mention any superhero titles in our movies, that's ridiculous.
Marvel: FUCK YEAH YOU WANT A RACOON VOICED BY BRADLEY COOPER WITH A GIANT GUN? YOU WANT VIN DIESEL PLAYING A TREE? AMY FUCKING POND PLAYING A SEXY BALD SPACE PIRATE? HERE YOU FUCKERS GO
DC: Our fanbase is mostly white males, I'm sure our focus is-
Marvel: NEW SHE HULK LINE WHERE SHE GOES TO COURT THEN SAVES NEW YORK
DC: Wait-
Marvel: NEW FEMALE THOR
DC: I didn't-
Marvel: NEW BLACK CAPTAIN AMERICA
Marvel: TAKE ALL THIS COOL SHIT MARVEL BE OUTIE
Marvel: PEACE

gorogoroiu:

ON SALE

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